Idiotic Conversation

This is a conversation between an idiot and a computer salesman-

SALESMAN: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

IDIOT: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

SALESMAN: Mac?

IDIOT: No, the name’s Lou.

SALESMAN: Your computer?

IDIOT: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

SALESMAN: Mac?

IDIOT: I told you, my name’s Lou.

SALESMAN: What about Windows?

IDIOT: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

SALESMAN: Do you want a computer with Windows?

IDIOT: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

SALESMAN: Wallpaper.

IDIOT: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

SALESMAN: Software for Windows?

IDIOT: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

SALESMAN: Office.

IDIOT: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

SALESMAN: I just did.

IDIOT: You just did what?

SALESMAN: Recommend something.

IDIOT: You recommended something?

SALESMAN: Yes.

IDIOT: For my office?

SALESMAN: Yes

IDIOT: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

SALESMAN: Office.

IDIOT: Yes, for my office!

SALESMAN: I recommend Office with Window’s.

IDIOT: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

SALESMAN: Word.

IDIOT: What word?

SALESMAN: Word in Office.

IDIOT: The only word in office is office.

SALESMAN: The Word in Office for Windows.

IDIOT: Which word in office for windows?

SALESMAN: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

IDIOT: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

SALESMAN: Money.

IDIOT: That’s right what do you have?

SALESMAN: Money.

IDIOT: I need money to track my money?

SALESMAN: It comes bundled with your computer.

IDIOT: What’s bundled with my computer?

SALESMAN: Money.

IDIOT: Money comes with my computer?

SALESMAN: Yes. No extra charge.

IDIOT: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

SALESMAN: One copy.

IDIOT: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

SALESMAN: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

IDIOT: They can give you a license to copy money?

SALESMAN: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

SALESMAN: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

IDIOT: How do I turn my computer off?

SALESMAN: Click on ‘START’