Friday, February 6, 2009


Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.

As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt...and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

Flynn said, 'Why you say such a thing?'

'Well,' Mary said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.


Soul Searcher said...

Has not happened to me yet and I hope it never will.

Onkar said...

You have a good nose for jokes.

Kadri said...

The wife was tired and disgusted of her husbands daily routine; he'd leave home after dinner come back drunk in the middle of the night, throw up in a bucket and then fall asleep. She decided to see if she could teach him a lesson and the next morning she emptied the bucket and filled it with the intestines from a goat that she had gotten from the butcher.

Later she heard him wake up and she waited for the response. After a long, long time the husband came out of the bathroom and he looked pale.

"I have to stop drinking," he said. "Last night I threw up so bad that I lost my intestines, but with the help of God and the tooth brush ... I managed to get them all down again.